I gather strength from traveling alone

I gather strength from being married and divorced,

married and divorced.

I gather strength from mothering

I gather strength from building homes.

I gather strength from friendships,

from relationships,

 from living by myself.

I gather strength from changing –

careers,

occupations,

locations,

diapers.

I gather strength from dealing with money as needed.

It took a while, but I gathered strength from understanding Mom couldn’t give more than she did

that hurts inflicted by silly teenagers don’t really matter.

I gather strength from my different fields of knowledge.

I gather strength (and angst) from living in the unsolvable quagmire of the Middle East,

the world’s Bubbling Center,

constantly pondering the whys,

how comes,

where tos,

 the angers,

seeking a meaning.

I gather strength from living in the first and third worlds

 abroad and back

from being in Cultures

 from languages acquired.

I gather strength from choosing, erring, moving on,

                                                                                             choosing, erring, moving on…

I enhance my strength by taking the Golden Path,

by not being fanatic,

by being womanly flexible.

I feed my soul by taking roads less travelled.

I get empowered by keeping politically informed

telling fake news from real

protesting on the streets

writing political on Facebook

attempting to tell what’s important,

writing my Blog.

I gather strength from festivals and like-minded crowds,

 from empathy with far-away people,

from acknowledging my fears, worries, anxieties.

I gather strength from 68 years of life.

I build resilience by moving my body and relaxing it

by feeling pain and forgetting about it,

by walking, swimming, exercising,

by trying to heal naturally.

I tie with my deeper self by acknowledging I am expert at nothing yet have lived fully.

I get empowered vicariously through sisters

reporting love, care, courage from distant war zones,

scientists,

writers,

graceful leaders.

I build up my primal force from water,

herbs,

vegetables,

whole grains,

chocolate…

I build up my primal force from breathing

singing,

dancing,

drumming,

music,

yoga,

growing veggies,

growing myself,

growing side by side with my daughters..

I build up primal force from my personal spiritual salad,

from my Sexuality

Sensuality

Eros.

I built up primal force by giving births

 nursing,

loving.

I derive primal power from exiled Goddesses

prehistoric woman-centered societies

native peoples

Earth, galaxies, the micro-worlds

 sun, winds.

I derive my primal force from whatever shape this body-mind has at the moment

 looking,

observing,

smelling,

feeling

co-creating, dancing with the elements.

I derive power from Doing and Doing

I derive power from Not Doing

I derive power from Being…

Orit Adar

Yom Kippur 2022

Jerusalem